Last week I was given an unexpected, awesome opportunity. I saw Cori and Jub (the leaders of Breakthrough Thailand) while they were visiting Bangkok and they invited me to go back to Issan with them until the end of the month because they needed someone to teach English to some of the girls while they were on school break.
When they first offered, my internal reaction was, "This sounds great, but I thought that what I'm doing now is how God wanted me to spend the rest of my time in Thailand." It was one of those fork in the road moments when you think your path is clear cut, but then you're faced with options that you didn't see coming.
When opportunities arise, I don't want to make my decision based on what looks like the best option. I don't want to be led by my plans, expectations, preferences, or the excitement of a new opportunity. I want to be led only by His Spirit. I want to say yes to Him no matter where He leads me- even when the path He takes me doesn't seem to make sense.
From the beginning, my time in Thailand hasn't seemed to make much sense or follow human wisdom. When I go home, I will have stayed here more than three months longer than planned, I changed my flights not knowing where I would live, what exactly I would do, or how I would pay for it all, and now I was given the opportunity to again change directions near the end of my trip. But there is a way that seems right to a man, and then there's the way that God does things.
In my life I don't want to be anchored to anything other than God. I don't even want to be anchored to the direction God gives me to go. I want to be anchored only in the person of Jesus. Because sometimes God gives us a direction to go and we get so attached to it and caught up in it that when He gives us the next direction, we don't want to follow it because we think we already know the way. But sometimes God puts us on a path for a short time, only to quickly redirect us. We can't always take one word from God and plan our lives around it with the plans set in stone. God often gives us a direction, but He rarely gives us a timeline. We need to be eager to go where He leads us and ready to change directions at any moment. And when He guides us in another direction, it's not because the way we were going wasn't right. It doesn't mean we heard Him wrong when He said to go that way. It just means that the time for going that way is over and it's time to embark on a new path.
My life may seem to be all over the place or unfocused to people on the outside. But even though I may change directions a lot, my goal and destination stay constant- to walk with Jesus on this intimate love journey, inviting as many people as I can along the way to join in. My soul is not anchored in a place, a plan, or a calling. My soul is anchored in Christ alone.
So after talking to God about this new opportunity, I told Jub and Cori that I would come! You see- either option looked like a good one, so without communion with God I would have been left playing a guessing game. But forks in the road aren't meant to be sources of stress or fear of messing up, they are an invitation to lean on your Beloved and commune with Him. They are an invitation to talk to your friend Jesus about where to go next. There isn't a formula to figuring out what your destiny is. No amount of pros or cons can tell you which way God wants you to go. It's all about being in relationship with Him.
In this instance, human reasoning said stay in Bangkok. You've already paid rent for an apartment. You're doing good things here. This is what you've already told people you're doing. These plans are good and godly. Why go somewhere else? But Holy Spirit, who often goes against all human reasoning, said, "Go to Issan. This opportunity is from me, and your time there is in my plan." I felt total peace about going to Issan, and I knew if I stayed in Bangkok, it wouldn't be out of submission, it would be out of stubbornness. It would be because I was yolked to my plans instead of being yolked to Jesus.
So here I am in Issan! Back to village life in this beautiful place surrounded by such beautiful people! This past week I had my first teaching experiences and it has been such a blast! It's so funny how something as simple as teaching English can make me so happy. I guess it's because it's not really the act of teaching that brings me joy, it's the way I connect with the people I teach. It's the way their face lights up when they get the pronunciation right. It's the excitement they show when they learn a new word. It's the way they giggle when they can't quite make the right sound. It's the way it gives us more opportunities to communicate with each other. I really love teaching, but what I love more is the students.
The past week I've been teaching a fifteen year old girl named Mook. She is so smart and so eager to learn! Our lessons are scheduled to be two hours long, but they usually end up lasting all day! Even if we aren't sitting down for a lesson, I get to teach her just as we hang out and go about the day. Which is just the way God teaches us! We can, and should, have specific times set aside for intentionally spending time with only Him and seeking His face, but when we are eager to learn and eager for more of Him, it doesn't stop there. He isn't confined to a church service, a Bible study, or a priority time. He goes with us, talking with us and teaching us and guiding us as we go.
I've loved teaching Mook and a few other girls. And I've loved just getting to be in the village again. It's such a family setting at Breakthrough Thailand. The doors are always open and village kids are constantly coming in and out- getting tutored or mentored and just playing or hanging out. I love the way this family is a safe place and a light for people in their community, and I love the way they've embraced me as one of their own.
(A few village kids playing in my hammock.)
My heart has been so filled with peace the whole time I've been here and I know that this is right where God wants me. My days are filled with teaching English, playing with village kids, worshipping with the kids and staff, observing the Thai culture (both the beautiful and the not so beautiful elements), and just being immersed in the laid back village lifestyle.
As my time in Thailand is nearing it's end, I'm so thankful that God had it in His plans for me to spend some of my last weeks in this place. And I'm so grateful for the grace to get to follow His plan, because it's always better than anything I would have planned for myself. Always.
No comments:
Post a Comment